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What do you think of my essay?

A typical late afternoon at my house with my family is very ordinary and family oriented. My two brothers, Max and Derek, come home from school, and then my Dad arrives home mysteriously half an hour after my brothers. Finally, I arrive home after a long day of school and work. At the end of the day there is supper to fix and chores to do before everyone goes to bed. As regularly as the sun rises and sets, my family’s late afternoons are just average.

My older brother Max is the first one to arrive home. He goofs around with his friends at school then likes to race home before anyone gets there. Max usually gets to the refrigerator door without anyone around and begins hogging down on the food. As well as getting the first food picks my brother gets to the television first. When Max gets to the television he comfortably situates himself on the floor of the living room. He takes one of the large couch pillows, lays on the floor eating , and presses the power button on the remote control .Afterwards my younger brother Derek comes home , either highly exhausted or super energized depending on whether he just got off from track practice, off the bus, or from getting picked up from my grandparents. Like Max, Derek goes straight to the refrigerator for a bite to eat. He throws himself on the living room couch. Excitedly, Derek starts aggravating Max because that’s the only way he can get control of what they watch. Their fighting reminds me of two laughing hyenas. Listening to my brothers is almost like a comedy show.

About this time in the day my dad comes home. You can usually hear my dad’s trashy piece of junk car coming through the drive way. Because my dad loves NPR (National Public Radio) sometimes he will sit for up to 1/2 an hour in the driveway continuing to listen to stories that would normally put me to sleep. My brothers and I will have been looking all throughout the house to find my Dad, but he will still be in his car ! Finally, he will get out of the car and go straight to his room to turn on the computer, all without saying hello. Last, I come home tired from school and work .I usually open the door to find both of my brothers playing video games like little school girls. Instinctively I go to the refrigerator to get a bite to eat or glass of water to drink, usually with my stomach rumbling.

After everyone arrives home we all question each other about what we are having for supper. If my dad does not have a meal planned out we usually put something together quickly or eat the left-overs.After dinner everyone gradually starts taking showers and doing their homework. Because of boredom or silliness either me or my younger brother joke around making my older brother and dad frustrated .The last stage of the day is usually when the kitchen is a mess and all the food has been eaten. I help my dad clean the kitchen and the living room where my brothers left their plates. After everyone is done taking a shower and putting their dirty clothing in the washing machine my brothers beg my dad to stay up later but he chases them to bed. I usually stay up to chat with a friend on the internet. In the end everyone settles down to rest. They turn off their lights to go to sleep signaling the final end of a busy day for my family.

My brothers, my dad and I, most late afternoons, come home from school and work like a bunch of ants returning to their hive. My family gets all the chores that need to get done so the house does not look as if a bunch of hillbillies living in a garbage disposal. Afterwards, the sounds of growling stomachs coming from everyone’s belly are satisfied with large amount of food at supper. After the chores are done and supper has been fixed the lights begin to fade for bed time. In the end, of our late afternoon retreats are typical and oriented family

Asked by:Momo200348


2 Comments

  1. joelle1995 says:

    its very good, you just need to check your punctuation marks. but dont worry, thats bout it!!!

  2. turduckenlover says:

    It’s okay,but it does need some tinkering.You need to combine some sentences and look into using colons and semi-colons properly.You also use commas incorrectly in many areas .Also-Ants live in “hills”;bees live in “hives”

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