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I need help with my book, opinions, please read?

Hey again. Sorry for posting another about this but the last summary I gave of my story wasn’t worded that great and didn’t explain the story that well, I’m very bad at summarizing anything.

So, here’s a better summary.

The book is about a teenage girl named Serah Dahson. A normal seventeen year old till one day her blood is tainted with that of a angels. Thus giving her extroardinary power and a destiny. The taint gives her the responsibility of protecting people and defeating supernatural creatures, but also making her their target because of her unique nature.

So, the book is not a teen romance. Sure there will be a romance at one point since there should be. But there will be action, adventure, death, traumatic and torturous events, gore, demonic creatures. Drama from her new life and from her old. Her trying to accept what she is and the world she is now apart of. Plus a colorful cast of characters to help her along the way that I am still working on.
Plus the wings part is still in the making, how that will be put in since she is going to have wings, being tainted with the blood of a angel after all. I don’t want it to be something that’s always there, like in Maximum Ride there wings are always there and have to be hidden. So I thought that I make the wings protrude out of her back at will, tearing out of her skin in a painful process and retracts back into her skin, healing the wounds created when going out, as if they weren’t there. A friend suggested to go along with this that the wings be a tattoo on her back, the wings becoming real when needed.
As for the angel that taints her I had it thought that maybe the angel is one with a deathsentance, so days before meeting Serah he fled to earth, and is still on the run from searching angels at the time. So mixing his blood with Serahs is a final act almost before his death.
The main character is a bit of a rebel, has some spirit and a attitude so that could be interesting itself. The name Serah Dahson is not for certain but might be it. She has fiery red hair, white skin, silvery light green eyes.
Other characters I have is her mentor, a ex slayer named Anthony Krathen ((again not a for certain name.)) who she meets while seeking answers at a church and just can’t get rid of since. He is twenty eight and a ex slayer because of a injury in his hip ((not certain)) that he got from a battle a few years ago, causing him to stop his work. Now helps Serah seeing it as a chance to do something good again.
A bubbly, overtalkative, everchanging radio host named Maile that is from a different realm similar to ours but ruled by demonic creatures that then cast her out for her crimes. A race that only exists in their world. ((this is all being thought out still but friends have suggested that I keep the different realm ruled by demonic creatures thing.)) She hosts a radio show directed to the supernatural, not rated T for Teen and often finds herself being wanted dead for how she talks about races and certain people in the supernatural world on the air. Very unique personality and changes appearance very often.
A adorable ten year old insane girl named Lei Willas with the power to see and read energys all around her. Lived in a insane asylum run by demonic creatures that kidnapped people and creatures that they found powerful and turned into soldiers, assassins, slaves, pets, whatever they wanted them for. ((still in the making.)) She has knowledge on the antagonist of this book from first hand experiance, just need to get past her insane rambles first. ((She’s in this story because she is a hit with my friends. we’re all roleplayers and people I roleplay with seem to love her.))
These four characters took forever to make up, my male characters are still being made. I’m trying to make them unique and hopefully memorable too. So I have one more male character to really put in here then another that’s not a main but is important for me. Plus the antagonist is in the making, I’m working real hard there and a villain is not easy.

I do plan on writing this story in the way of episodes like on tv.

As for my gramar and punctuation, ect, I know I’m bad right now but this is not how I write when I’m writing for my books. I put more effort into it. When I’m writing just to talk like this I’m not so neat. But I swear I write much better then I do right now.
This is my dreamjob, writing. I’m trying real hard and need the advice you’d have to offer.

Also, this is all original in my head. I’ve never read any books on angels, except the fallen which I started just earlier this morning to help me see how angels are used in other books. The only things I know on angels are from Supernatural and the movie Legion. Otherwise I’ve never seen or read anything else about angels. So if I’m taking someone elses idea then I really really didn’t know, please tell me if I a

Asked by:Alyirie

What do you think of my essay?

A typical late afternoon at my house with my family is very ordinary and family oriented. My two brothers, Max and Derek, come home from school, and then my Dad arrives home mysteriously half an hour after my brothers. Finally, I arrive home after a long day of school and work. At the end of the day there is supper to fix and chores to do before everyone goes to bed. As regularly as the sun rises and sets, my family’s late afternoons are just average.

My older brother Max is the first one to arrive home. He goofs around with his friends at school then likes to race home before anyone gets there. Max usually gets to the refrigerator door without anyone around and begins hogging down on the food. As well as getting the first food picks my brother gets to the television first. When Max gets to the television he comfortably situates himself on the floor of the living room. He takes one of the large couch pillows, lays on the floor eating , and presses the power button on the remote control .Afterwards my younger brother Derek comes home , either highly exhausted or super energized depending on whether he just got off from track practice, off the bus, or from getting picked up from my grandparents. Like Max, Derek goes straight to the refrigerator for a bite to eat. He throws himself on the living room couch. Excitedly, Derek starts aggravating Max because that’s the only way he can get control of what they watch. Their fighting reminds me of two laughing hyenas. Listening to my brothers is almost like a comedy show.

About this time in the day my dad comes home. You can usually hear my dad’s trashy piece of junk car coming through the drive way. Because my dad loves NPR (National Public Radio) sometimes he will sit for up to 1/2 an hour in the driveway continuing to listen to stories that would normally put me to sleep. My brothers and I will have been looking all throughout the house to find my Dad, but he will still be in his car ! Finally, he will get out of the car and go straight to his room to turn on the computer, all without saying hello. Last, I come home tired from school and work .I usually open the door to find both of my brothers playing video games like little school girls. Instinctively I go to the refrigerator to get a bite to eat or glass of water to drink, usually with my stomach rumbling.

After everyone arrives home we all question each other about what we are having for supper. If my dad does not have a meal planned out we usually put something together quickly or eat the left-overs.After dinner everyone gradually starts taking showers and doing their homework. Because of boredom or silliness either me or my younger brother joke around making my older brother and dad frustrated .The last stage of the day is usually when the kitchen is a mess and all the food has been eaten. I help my dad clean the kitchen and the living room where my brothers left their plates. After everyone is done taking a shower and putting their dirty clothing in the washing machine my brothers beg my dad to stay up later but he chases them to bed. I usually stay up to chat with a friend on the internet. In the end everyone settles down to rest. They turn off their lights to go to sleep signaling the final end of a busy day for my family.

My brothers, my dad and I, most late afternoons, come home from school and work like a bunch of ants returning to their hive. My family gets all the chores that need to get done so the house does not look as if a bunch of hillbillies living in a garbage disposal. Afterwards, the sounds of growling stomachs coming from everyone’s belly are satisfied with large amount of food at supper. After the chores are done and supper has been fixed the lights begin to fade for bed time. In the end, of our late afternoon retreats are typical and oriented family

Asked by:Momo200348

there is a song that i am looking for it didnt have a video but they used to play it on the radio all the time?

this song is a hip hop song and i used to jam to this all the time, now it is not that old maybe 2 or 3 years old i think it came out in the summer time it was like a summer song ok the song goes like this ” girl you know you looking good today i think about you almost everyday oooh girl you know you got a pretty face you not to big you just thick in waste something like that i think i remember some of a verse that was on there too it goes something like ” my baby boy or girl my kid you gone carry i really want to take you home so you can meet my momma and if you ask me about my ex i’ma tell you theres no more drama you need tell em something like that.

Asked by:Chance B

does anyone know where I can download the two episodes of the radio play “Greenmantle”? -?

I did a silly thing!!! Some months ago I downloaded a radio play of the John Buchan story called “Greenmantle”.
Yesterday I listened to it on my CD play, and found to my horror that the play is in two one-hour episodes – and I had downloaded only the first episode.
DISASTER! I can’t remember what site I downloaded it from, even though I have spent ages looking at Old Time Radio sites on the Internet.
I wonder if anybody knows of a site that has the two episodes of this radio play. I would be VERY grateful if someone could help. I have also tried to find a site where I can download it for payment, or where I can buy Greenmantle on a CD, but I have had no luck so far.

Asked by:sam

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